I have been through the wringer over the past two years. Chemo, and lots of it. Surgeries, 5 in all I think. Too many. Losing my hair. Having to go to physical therapy because my muscles got so weak I could barely support myself. Gaining weight because I was on steroids with chemo so I didn't get sick. Sleeping an ungodly amount of time, and still doing that. Many physical changes to my physical appearance, mostly being scars all over my body.
All that being said, do I regret any of it? Not at all. It was more than trying at times, and I cried due to the pain after surgery, and it super sucked, but look at where this journey has led me. I am cancer free! So no regrets despite all the hardships I faced. I hope I never have to go through this again, and it's highly probable I won't, but I think I would do it all over again, unless I am an old lady. Then I'll say fuck it, knowing I lived my best life (hopefully), until I peace out. But who has time to think that far ahead in the future? My time is now.
What do you do when you got a chance to start life all over again? I want to do everything. Literally every single thing I can. I know it's hard to describe how I'm feeling, but I literally feel like I am starting over, from scratch, at life. It's bizarre, and I have no doubt, reading it is the same. I could live in the should of, could of, would of, but I never have and won't start now. So it's that time to live my best life and do all the things!
To those of you that have followed my journey, reading it here, talking to me and supporting me throughout, shuttling me around, taking care of me, doing things for me that I was unable to do myself and visiting me during the course of all this, I cannot thank you enough. Without the support, I can't say things would have been the same. I am so lucky, in so many ways, and I am free.......
Every time I hear the song by Sia called "Alive", I sing it, out loud, every time, and it just makes me think how fortunate I am.
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