The What's What Of Wrapping Up 2022

As 2022 is drawing to a close, here's what's going on now, hoping for a better 2023. Not only for me, but everyone because this year, quit frankly, has just sucked a big, hairy dick.

I am still doing physical therapy three times per week. It has been so helpful in the short amount of time I have been attending; I really cannot believe it! I've never done PT ever, so maybe I thought it would take a lot longer to see the results, like when you go to the gym, but apparently I was wrong, which has been great. I have a whole regiment of at home exercises to do too, including self massage of my right arm due to lymphedema. It's all precautionary and maintenance, so I don't get it. Cause ya, fuck that. No thank you.

What else is new? I had another dose of chemo yesterday. Went well as normal. I got the results of the CAT scan I did last week, from my shoulders to my pelvis, all clear! Hooray, such great news. Honestly it is exactly what my doctor and I both expected, but hey, you never know. I mean shit, I was doing my annual mammogram when my breast cancer was found. Who would have ever thought? But here I am living this fucked up journey.

How have I been feeling? Fucking tired. All the time. Ugh, back to this shit again. I have been taking naps here and there, but not every day. I am just worn out. The days I get 12-13 hours of sleep, those are the days I wake up and feel like I have the energy to actually get shit done around the house. But as you can guess, I don't get 12-13 hours of sleep every night. Bummer. I think going to PT three times a week then chemo, I am just out and about more than I have been since before this all started and it's just wearing me down. I haven't even started back to work yet (another story for another time), and when I do, I am guessing I will just be that much more exhausted. I am looking forward to it and not, all at the same time. I don't want to be any more exhausted than I already am, but I want my life to have that sense of normalcy. Ya, that would be great. (Thanks Mr. Lumbergh).

In other news, I got fitted for compression garments. Like WTF are these? I almost feel like I am not old enough to know what the fuck these are, but guess what? I do now. My PT recommends I wear them all day, every day. They will help with potential and noticeable swelling. I got fitted for my right arm (where the lymphedema is likely to occur), and then for both legs because my ankles have been swelling randomly?!? I dont even know WTF is up with that. So I wore them the day I got them, then took a day off, then wore them. They are uncomfortable. Allegedly it gets easier as time goes on, and maybe I'll get used to them, but I would rather just not have to wear them at all!

My hair continues to grow. I was FaceTiming with my son today, and he said, wow, your hair is all over. Fact. Ya. I said it's a bit out of control now that it's growing, it just does it's own thing. And my head is still cold at times.........I am waiting for my hair to get longer so this is a thing of the past. I don't mind wearing a beanie or hat or whatever, but I think it's just extra when I do that when I go to bed 😒

So out the door with 2022, and like my new hoodie says..............

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Yes, for every two steps forward, there are times I feel like I take yet another step back. I know this is an uphill battle, but damn. Sometimes I think I am glad I'm 45, still young enough I can do this and have the energy and strength to fight this battle [for the most part]; other times I feel old, like my body is worn down and it makes me wonder if I can really do this.

I have finally started physical therapy. Yippee! It took so long to coordinate that shit. Ya, no rush, take your sweet ass time. My legs feel like marshmallows all the time, but that's cool. No, it's fucking not. The lack of giving any fucks these days to do the job people get paid to do is astonishing. Anyways, physical therapy is going great. Yesterday I really felt the burn. Wow. But on the flip side, my muscles are not sore today. I wasn't sure what I should be expecting. At the end of the day with physical therapy, I just want it to be beneficial to me and get me back to where I was so my body doesn't feel as weak.

I did another round of chemo this past Friday and met with my oncologist. He is happy with where my levels are. Woohoo! I did ask him about doing a full body scan to check and make sure there isn't cancer anywhere else. He agreed and ordered this. That should be scheduled soon. He also mentioned there is nothing in my blood work anywhere that indicates I may have cancer anywhere else but he understands for my peace of mind and making sure. Great! I am really glad he takes the time to listen and understand where I am at in all of this. Chemo itself was easy. One poke in my port, and the fluids were going. I have been paying more attention to the time after; the following several days after chemo because I am trying to pinpoint any side effects. I am certainly more tired, just like when I initially started chemo treatments. That is very noticeable to me. I want to sleep for way longer than I think I should, and most days, I just sleep as much as my body requires, but this will not last. Between chemo treatments, I am doing PT three times a week right now, so I feel like I am constantly on the go. I should have been back to work already, but I guess they still can't "fit me in", so I am still waiting. Once I go back to work though, have PT and chemo, christ, it's going to be overwhelming I suspect. But one thing at a time. I don't want to put the cart before the horse.

So my hair is growing back. Not super fast or anything like that, but damn, it's coming in thick!! Nice. Yesterday I got up and showered before PT. Towel dried it when I got out and it was sticking up everywhere. I decided to leave it. LOL. I know it's going into the awkward stage, so it may look funky a lot. It is what it is. It's nice to have hair again!

Hair everywhere and I don't care. Then there's my mad scientist eyebrows........lol.