What Is Going On Now?

It's been about 2 weeks since my last post. I haven't had much to say to this point in the last few weeks, but now, now, I have some things to say, after a crazy, busy and hectic week full of appointments.

I had chemo this past Friday; I only have two treatments to go 🤞 I hope with that being said, my treatment plan doesn't change. My numbers were out of whack this time and last in regard to my thyroid, so now I am on yet another new medication. Christ, another fucking medication. This one should be short term though so that's a plus. The issue with my thyroid may be causing many other issues, since it seems that that runs your body, to a point. So let's see what happens.

I have completed my physical therapy as well. That wrapped up the other day. Was I ready to be discharged? I think so, but either way, I maxed out my insurance benefit, so regardless if I was ready or not, it's too fucking bad, because I had no choice but to be done. I have regained my strength and have home exercises I can continue to do, so I think overall I am in good shape, and certainly way better than when I started PT. The weather has also been so great, so I have been walking my dogs everyday for about the past week and a half with the exception of one, due to the weather. They enjoy it, and it's good for them and good for me too!

I had a follow up visit with the orthopedic doctor this past week as well. Time to check in on my hand situation, my brace, all that good shit. So what happened? I still have neuropathy, no surprise there given that its ben going on for almost 2 months now. He thinks I do have carpal tunnel and is sending me for an EMG to find out more. With his suspicions, he has given me 3 options. Option 1: Occupational therapy, which won't work because my insurance benefit is maxed out. Option 2: A steroid shot. Nope, not approved by my oncologist. I asked the other day when I was there. Option 3: Surgery. I immediately said no thanks, because I already have enough surgeries scheduled for this year. He also mentioned the brace is doing me some good for what they have been treating me for which was tendonitis, but it also hinders other things. So I can't win in this situation I guess. I will take it one day at a time and go from there.

Let it grow, let it grow...........my hair that is. It is growing like a god damn weed. I am not complaining, so dont misunderstand that. It is in such an awkward stage though, so I have wings all the time. Ha. Today I went out to walk the dogs, with my hair just doing it's thing. I thought about it for a quick minute, and then thought, who gives a fuck? If anything, I can only hope it'll make people not want to talk to me. Perfect. Let me just get to my shit, walk my dogs and mind my own business. I am not antisocial, but some days, I just don't want to be chatty.

Let's see what's in store for me next. Who knows, but I am optimistic it'll all be good stuff! So until then, stay awesome!

My hair....I love it! But the rest of it wants to be all weird. Whatever. I am not shaving the sides because then it'll never grow, so, ya, no.

Photo taken 02.22.2023

Are You Ready For Some...........Updates?

Update time, again, and so soon already?!? Maybe it's been longer than I think. Time always seems to get away from me. So many fucking appointments, jesus, I feel like I need a god damn personal assistant to keep my shit straight and go run my bullshit errands.

PT has resumed. Ouch. I wasn't at PT for 2 weeks due to the great Texas storm of 2023. Fucking ice storms. What an inconvenience, because you cannot drive in that shit. Was the break nice? Of course, not having to drive there several times a week was a nice change of pace. But the way my body feels, and felt once I resumed this past week, holy shit. I have never told my physical therapist flat out that I couldn't do something. I will always give it a good college try. This week, I almost muttered those words. I pushed through and did the best I could, but my body definitely recognized the break. I only have 2 weeks of PT left, and then my insurance benefit is exhausted. I hope I am ready in all the facets, and we shall see. I cannot continue going without insurance. I just got my EOB's since I started PT; they bill $500 per visit for just PT. If there is an evaluation, it's about $1,200 per visit. Nope. Not doing it. With YouTube and all that great shit these days, plus the home exercises I have, I will figure shit out.

My neck, my back (are you singing the song?). No. My fucking arm. I think I have figured out (finally), why my upper right arm has been bothering me. For a long time it's baffled me, then bam! It hit me, just like that. I am certain it is the way I am sleeping on it. Given that I have been a stomach sleeper my entire life, then I couldn't when I had my double mastectomy, and now I am back to it, but it is not the same. I just can't sleep in the same position  like I used to. And sleeping the way I do is fucking up my arm. I need to figure out how to counteract that.

Orthopedic doc said what?!? So the last time I updated this, I was just getting ready to go to the orthopedic doc. For now, I am being treated for tendonitis. I have this ridiculous brace (almost like an air cast) that I have to wear as many hours a day as possible. It keeps my wrist stable as well as my thumb. I can't do anything when I wear it, hence the annoyance. Despite that, it has been helping along with the antiinflammatory they prescribed. I go for a follow up in about 10 days or so, so let's see what they have to say then.

Fucking Medical Bills. I am sick of these god damn things. Seriously. Tired of them, but they keep coming. And they will continue to come. I received a $700 bill  the other day, knowing I have another $2K bill coming on top of that. Fuck me. FML right now.

Colonoscopy results are in! I received my pathology report. One polyp identified and removed; it is precancerous, but benign. Perfect. Because I am not all about any more cancer bullshit. I don't have the time nor the energy to go through cancer treatments anymore. Hell I haven't even finished breast cancer treatments yet. Get your shit (no pun intended) checked. Mammograms, physicals, colonoscopies, pap smears. Whatever the fuck it is you are supposed to do, just do it. Don't put it off. It could literally save your life. I am living proof of that.

WTF is with adulting anyways? I am over this shit. I remember when I was a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up, be an adult, not have the same bullshit rules I had when I was growing up, having the freedom to do what I want, when I want. Ya, that shit is overrated. Seriously overrated. I have done so much fucking adulting lately. I need a break. I think I would lose my god damn mind if I was working too, this shit is just too much some days.

I'm breaking out like a teenager as if I use butter as moisturizer on my face. What?!? I am 45 years old. Should I have a dozen pimples on my face? Fuck no, but I do. I have no period, and haven't in over three years due to my partial hysterectomy, so I have no clue whats causing them all of the sudden. Christ. I don't ever wear makeup, so that's not the cause. Maybe there's bacon grease mixed in with my moisturizer? Ha. No, there isn't, but my face is telling another story right now. I need to get this shit under control!

Finally, to wrap this up. I am having fun with my hair! It is maybe 2.5" long, so there isn't much length wise. Enough to cover my head for sure, and it's growing in so thick, but I just discovered the other day that it's long enough for a flat iron! Wow. I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised. So here are some pics of my hair from this week. Check out the curls. I am so over them.......

I love, love, love the spiky hair. It's feisty, like me!

Who would have thought a headband would be so complimentary? And yes, it's pink, my favorite color!

Damn with the curls. I was hoping for dark, straight hair. Of course, that's not at all what I have right now, but I am optimistic after I have done some reading that it may change 😊

Holy Shit! Mind Blown!!

Interesting day of sorts, and I felt I should share those few things. Because, why not? It is all part of the journey I am on, and I am here to share.

First things first. I had another chemo infusion today. I was so tired because I have been having a lot of issues falling asleep for some reason. Chemo was uneventful, and I was able to sneak a cat nap in, which was much needed, and I feel will help me push through the rest of my day. Yahoo!

Secondly, I finally received my compression pump. I feel like I have been waiting on this thing forever, especially since it was ordered in December! Wow. I suppose things are taking more time than normal these days, and this is just one of them. I got the tutorial on how it works, and it'll be nice to have this instead of manually massaging my lymphatic system. Score!

Third and final, I think. This is a big one. I will start with, for the betterment of yourself, your family, friends and other loved ones, don't get cancer. Not only does it suck and change your life, flipping it upside down, but it is expensive, makes you feel all kinds of ways, and treatment kind of brings your life to a halt because everything revolves around your treatment. Of course, there is way more to it, but those are the key points. I received a ton of emails saying all these claims had been finalized, so I went to check it out (because I have never received notification about any of my claims before). Yes, there were about 10, and all but one were from January 2023. Jesus, that many already.........shit.

I am going to put some shit into perspective for you.

• Insurance billed to date (since mammogram on 12.18.2021): $893,550.78
• Total plan discounts and payments: $878,733.30 (I am not sure why these categories would be marked one in the same because they are two completely different things)
• My portion to pay: $12,973.77

The figures above include my double mastectomy. That surgery alone billed my insurance company $373,894.22. Like what the fuck is my reconstructive surgery going to cost? It is unreal to think these numbers are legit. but I can assure you, they are very real. I am almost at the $1M already and I am not even close to being done. Yikes! And each chemo infusion bills my insurance for $27,707! With a price tag like that, this shit should give me eternal life, super powers, or fuck, how about a happy ending? LOL (I am kidding about the happy ending). 

In the end, all the costs involved and associated with having cancer is astronomical, yes; however, getting treatment and having surgery, I am cancer free, so that is priceless. 

This is me, today. Wild and crazy hair!!! It has been an interesting week with ice storms. It finally warmed up today but it was cold when I left the house this morning, and I was wearing a beanie. Then it warmed up, and off it came! And so, I just continue to let my hair do it's thing, and not a care in the world about what anyone else thinks about it. I'll do me. As always.