January 2022 started out seemingly like any other year aside from the issues we were already dealing with with Covid. The other monster that the world has been battling for damn near 2 years now.
You go about your day-to-day life, just getting past the holidays and life back to "the new normal".
I went in for my annual mammogram, screening on December 18, 2021. I usually go in October every year, but 2021 was just a rough year for me, my family, and my life in general. After putting my screening off for almost 2 months, I finally had my appointment. There was nothing different about it; nothing out of the ordinary, until I get a call from them. The call that would be potentially life changing.
I received a call, which I missed, and a voicemail to follow. The voicemail is generic. It says "We are calling about your mammogram you had done recently. Please call us back," Well with me and my hectic schedule, working full time overnight and a part time job a few days a week during the day, I forgot. A few days later, another call with the same vague message. This time I call back, so it doesn't get thrown by the wayside yet again. Clearly, they want to talk to me.
I reach someone in the office, and they say they would like me to come back for an ultrasound. They see something, and just want to "check it out". Yes, let's get it checked out. Now I don't know if it's me bring naive, or perhaps me thinking they may be being extra cautious, or paranoid even, but I submit to their demand. I schedule and appointment for an ultrasound on January 11, 2022, and of course, I go. Ultrasound goes well, I think. Or not? Because I am then informed, I should come in for a biopsy as they have indeed located two masses, both in my right breast. What? I'm stumped. This cannot be cancer. There is no history in my family, I feel really good, every year, every screening has been fine. So I ask, "Could these just be cysts?" The radiologist tells me, "No, cysts are clear and will not appear as a white spot on a mammogram or ultrasound. These are both masses, and honestly, I am concerned. They don't look good." Well Happy Fucking New Year!
I schedule by biopsy for January 25, 2022. I will admit, at this point, I am still not concerned in the least bit. Denial? No. Optimism. Yes, perhaps. I go in for my biopsy, and it couldn't have gone any better. I even see the specimen they collected. This tiny little thing. I'm advised they should have the results in 7 - 10 days, and here the waiting begins. I still feel like I feel every day and go on with life as usual, thinking nothing much of it. Much to my surprise I get a call on January 26, 2022, with the results. I am ready, thinking, hey, it's nothing. I WAS WRONG!
The radiologist, who I must say had the best bed side manner and delivered the news in such a great way, I couldn't even be mad. He said, "We biopsied two masses identified. The one in your lymph nodes came back and is benign, it's just a mass. The one in your breast came back as cancer. It was caught very early, and we can treat this. Please tell me what question I can answer for you." Hmmmm. I have no idea. I was not prepared for this. I didn't think this is the call I would get, and I sincerely don't know what kinds of questions I should ask. He provides more information and recommends a breast surgeon, which is my next step. OK. Another doctor. Exactly how I want to spend my free time between both jobs. I mean I couldn't think of anything better to do, however, this is a HIGH priority item.
I tell my husband, who has a look of shock, as I would expect. I am still at this point, feeling no different than I have been, even with a cancer diagnosis firmly in my hands. Perhaps the gravity of it really hasn't hit me at this point. I just found out. Maybe it needs time to soak in. How long or when should I except this to happen? I am clueless, so I guess it will happen when it happens.
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