My Final Post, And I Am Closing This Chapter Of My Life

Today is December 18, 2023. 2 years ago to the day, I had the mammogram that would forever change my life. And here I sit, 2 years later, cancer free, and couldn't be happier. 

I have been through the wringer over the past two years. Chemo, and lots of it. Surgeries, 5 in all I think. Too many. Losing my hair. Having to go to physical therapy because my muscles got so weak I could barely support myself. Gaining weight because I was on steroids with chemo so I didn't get sick. Sleeping an ungodly amount of time, and still doing that. Many physical changes to my physical appearance, mostly being scars all over my body. 

All that being said, do I regret any of it? Not at all. It was more than trying at times, and I cried due to the pain after surgery, and it super sucked, but look at where this journey has led me. I am cancer free! So no regrets despite all the hardships I faced. I hope I never have to go through this again, and it's highly probable I won't, but I think I would do it all over again, unless I am an old lady. Then I'll say fuck it, knowing I lived my best life (hopefully), until I peace out. But who has time to think that far ahead in the future? My time is now.

What do you do when you got a chance to start life all over again? I want to do everything. Literally every single thing I can. I know it's hard to describe how I'm feeling, but I literally feel like I am starting over, from scratch, at life. It's bizarre, and I have no doubt, reading it is the same. I could live in the should of, could of, would of, but I never have and won't start now. So it's that time to live my best life and do all the things!

To those of you that have followed my journey, reading it here, talking to me and supporting me throughout, shuttling me around, taking care of me, doing things for me that I was unable to do myself and visiting me during the course of all this, I cannot thank you enough. Without the support, I can't say things would have been the same. I am so lucky, in so many ways, and I am free.......

Every time I hear the song by Sia called "Alive", I sing it, out loud, every time, and it just makes me think how fortunate I am.

                I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go
                Where the wind don't change
                And nothing in the ground can ever grow
                No hope, just lies
                And you're taught to cry into your pillow
                But I survived

                I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
                I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
                I'm alive
                I'm alive
                I'm alive
                I'm alive

                    

The End.

Sia - Alive video

If Cancer Had A Face, I Would Punch It..........

Fuck cancer. It's just that simple. I've seen so many people go through this horrible disease, and then went through it myself. I'm over it. So over it.

So what's happened the last two weeks? I had an appointment with my breast surgeon for my one year check up (a bit late, but she's a popular lady), but either way, my one year check up since my double mastectomy. Everything is good, looks good, feels good, etc. Yahoo! I go back for another check in 6 months to see her, but still going to her office every 3 months for my lymphedema check.

I also had an appointment with my oncologist. He checked my levels via blood work. Everything looks good there too, and even better than it has in the past. Yahoo again! He wants me to get another CT scan, as a matter of protocol, and I will do that next week. He did make it known that he does not have any concerns, and this is just a check since my last CT scan was in May (I think?!?). I am not worried myself, but I think, just like last time, it will give me peace of mind.

So lastly, guess what? I got my 3D nipple tattoos done a few days ago. OMG. Wow. Holy Shit. All the things. They just look amazing. So amazing, I am stunned. This tattoo artist, Marie Sena, knows her stuff. She does great work, and now I understand why my PS partnered with her for this final step. My tattoos are healing, and it'll be about a week before they are all completely healed, but already I am more than impressed. My boobs almost look weird to me. Like back to how they used to look with some additional scarring and are perkier than they were, but just as real as they will ever be. Image that. How great that technology has come this far.

I am working on building my strength back up, and in due time, hopefully sooner than later, I will be back at it. Back at all the things I want to do, that I used to do and for all those things that may come my way........I'm excited. What a ride this has been.