Playing the Waiting Game, But Not For Long

MRI has been completed. Now I wait for the results to go to my breast surgeon. Good thing in all of this is I am not holding my breath. 

My next appointment is scheduled with my breast surgeon on February 16, 2022. The wait isn't long. I don't know if that is what I wished for or not. I've just been going through the motions, setting up all the appointments I need to, making the calls required for those, and then just tending to my everyday life.

Dr. Anglin and I have our tele visit scheduled, and I wait more. Love Love Love this waiting game. 45 minutes after our appointment time comes and goes, it is THAT time. If you recall, the previous plan was to do surgery about the first week of March, followed by radiation. Amazing what a few days can do to change your plans.

She reads my MRI results and tells me the mass is not 1.2cm, but 1.8cm. There is a "webbing" pattern where the cancer is 'spreading it's feelers out'. Now this 1.2cm mass is 1.8cm, and the feelers are spread 3"-4", or for those that are following, 9cm. Ok. What does this mean? She recommends a double mastectomy. This is the very first time I get emotional. I cry. Right then and there. Part of what defines me as a woman is now partially being taken away. I have no words. No Words.

I regain my composure and continue, grateful my husband sat in on this call. She also discloses the results of the genetic test I took in her office on February 1, 2022. I have the BRCA1 genetic mutation. What is this? I had no idea and she explained it. BRCA1 is a human tumor suppressor gene (also known as a caretaker gene) and is responsible for repairing DNA. BRCA1 and BRCA2 are unrelated proteins, but both are normally expressed in the cells of breast and other tissue, where they help repair damaged DNA, or destroy cells if DNA cannot be repaired. Wow, my body is a hot mess from what I gathered from that piece of the conversation. She also informs me that as this is genetic, my siblings should all be tested, as well as my son. Good god, yes, please, let's drag others into this.

This entire thing to this point has drastically changed all in the manner of a phone call, and I am on a slippery slope, and not the fun kind like a ski hill. This was going to be a seemingly simple lumpectomy with radiation, now, a double mastectomy, no radiation, possible chemo treatment, a full hysterectomy, and reconstruction surgery, which will require yet another doctor. A plastic surgeon.

Now here it is, 2 days later, February 18, 2022, and I meet with my oncologist, Dr. Carlos Taboada with Texas Oncology. Honestly, another great doctor all the way around. I have really hit the jackpot with my care team. At least something is going right. He is thorough, very detailed, and takes a lot of time to go over everything with me, as my husband is by my side for this appointment too. He recommends chemo, once a week for 6 months. Six. Months. That is a commitment. And this would be prior to surgery as what he wants to accomplish is shrinking the mass and stop the cancer from spreading further. Ok, now that makes sense. He also said the following week I will be scheduled to have a full body scan to see if there is cancer anywhere else in my body, along with a mediport implant, and a heart test. Could I possibly go through anymore? Take any more of this information overload road I have been on? Apparently so, because it just keeps coming, and there is no end in sight.

As if the information I receive today from Dr. Taboada isn't a hard enough pill to swallow, he also lets me know that with 100% certainty I will lose all my hair........I will likely be tired, and very sick, and I cannot drive myself to and from my chemo treatments, once a week for 4 hours per session. As I leave the office to go get blood work taken, I walk past the room where many chemo patients are currently receiving their treatment, thinking soon, I will be joining all of them. Kick her when she's down, kick her when she's down. 

I take all the information substantially better than I would have thought. I am at the point of no return, or I will just expire a lot sooner than I ever planned on, if I don't act, and now.

I get my blood work taken that day and set up the date for my first chemo treatment, Monday, March 7. I don't have much time to live my best life, so time to get the party started, while I still can.