The Floor Is Lava

Do you know the game? The floor is lava? I played it when I was a kid with my brother. Who would have thought I may be playing again as an adult, but in a different aspect. Let me elaborate.

I am not one to read the side effects of any prescriptions I take. I just feel like if I did, I would have them all, or at least many of them. This also has carried with me with these chemo meds. The ones I was taking before, and the one I am taking now.

I have been more tired than usual. I didn't really think much about it. I am having a hard time getting comfortable, I am suppose to be sleeping on my back, etc. These things just make for a poor nights sleep, thus leading me to believe that's why I am tired. Makes sense. I just left it at that and went on with my days.

About a week and a half ago or so, I noticed when I got up, whether it be from the couch, chair, out of the car, or wherever I was sitting, that my legs are really weak. Strange. I have never experienced anything like this other than when I work them too hard or participated in an activity I wasn't used to. This is not the case right now, because I cannot function like I used to, especially with still healing from surgery. So what gives? I didn't know, but put more thought into it, because every time I get up, I walk like a little old lady, walking slow and clearly visible that my legs are weak. 

This gets me to thinking on more than one level. What if whatever is going on with my legs is permanent? I cannot have weak legs like this for the rest of my life. That would be horrible. Then I think it's just part of me healing because I am resting more trying to recover, therefore not using my leg muscles as much as I usually do, and maybe my muscles just need more activity. I don't know what it is, but I am also not trying to consume myself with overthinking this either.

So this is what I decided to do. I looked up "Are weakened muscles a side effect of Keytruda?" The answer? Yes. Weak and/or painful muscles is a common side effect. So I think I have my answer and what is causing this. Good or no? I don't know.

Here's my next thought. I will be taking Keytruda (which I just learned is also a chemo drug; this baffled me because I already went through chemo, but did take Keytruda then too) through April 2023. Holy shit. That means I have another 6 months of this shit. Christ that's a long fucking time, especially if I have this side effect. I am going to talk to my doctor and see if there is something I can do to counteract this. Exercising seems to be the logical thought on this, however, as I have been going through this journey, what would seem to be the most common sense answer isn't always the case, and really almost never is. Perhaps walking, taking walks that is, is the answer. 

I feel like having weak legs, weak muscles in my legs or whatever is going on, I would think I may have to "rehab" them later, to build back my strength. I suppose with this, time will tell.

Just when you think you know what's in front of you and what is coming next, this battle says, ya, sit the fuck down, you don't know shit; and this, the floor is like lava for me. At this point, I would melt.