Happy New Year! Welcoming 2023 and hoping it is a much better year for me, and all of us, if 2022 was a shit show for anyone other than myself.
So how did 2023 start? With things, many things. The first being I finally started back to work, 6am on New Years Day. Happy fucking new year. It is what it is. It is nice to have a sense of normalcy that way. I mean I am 2.5 days in, so I am not about to try and jump for joy. Not yet. Those first few days of starting back and getting into the swing of things, including waking up at 530am (for those of you who know me well, you know I am NOT a morning person, so fuck me with getting up when it's dark outside), were mentally and physically exhausting. That's a good thing so far though.
What else? Still doing physical therapy three times a week, and getting stronger every time. I still have my struggles but I feel like I am really making a ton of progress and couldn't be happier with that. I know where I still have weakness, and I am working on strengthening my entire body so I can get back to where I was. The little bit of exercise I am doing to get stronger really makes me wish I could get in the gym and hit it hard. Really build my muscles back up, but I need to be realistic, of course.
My hair.......holy shit. It is now growing like a weed! I think it's around 2" long now. Fucking awesome, right? Yes, and no, because I am starting that awkward stage now. You know where you have wings everywhere, you totally have bed head every morning, and the rest of the day you hair just does what it wants. I literally dont give a fuck. Sometimes when I get out of the shower, I towel dry it and let it dry however it wants. Yesterday, that meant it looked like I stuck my finger in an outlet. LOL. I am sure when I was out and about, people noticed. Ha. Who cares. My physical therapist said she liked the look and noticed immediately. I would have looked like a junior Albert Einstein if my hair was white. I'll take it.
So I have noticed something......and I don't know what to think exactly. I am unsure. I haven't shaved under my arms in a long, long time. I did a few times because my hair grew back and now, nothing again. Seems so strange. I am not complaining, oh no, because fuck shaving. I like that I don't have any hair under my arms again. My leg hair has gotten sparse again too. Even better. I'm going to hold out hoping that after the next time I shave my legs, it's the last. If only I cold get so lucky! It may or may not have anything to do with my current chemo treatment. Honestly I don't give enough fucks to look into it or research it. These are just my observations right now.
In my shittier world, I have developed neuropathy. I thought I coasted past this months ago when I was on the Red Devil chemo. That's when it is likely to appear. I experienced that differently than most (based on what I have read and in talking with others who have it), and I thought it was long gone and way behind me. Wrong. Fuck me. I am right handed. Where am I experiencing my neuropathy? My right thumb, index, middle and ring fingertips. Like go fucking figure. Could it have been on my left hand? No, of course not. Why make my life any easier? It's weird. I constantly have a tingling feeling on those fingertips I mentioned, and it never goes away. Sometimes it gets worse. Sometimes from the tips of my fingers to the second knuckle down, my fingers are all numb. It keep me on my toes, lol, because I have to be focused on the things I touch, pick up, move, etc., to make sure I have a firm grip. It's weirder than most things day to day.
Lots of positives, one annoyance. Not a horrible start to 2023. Let's hope things are going to continue to get better every day!
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