Damn This Drain!

Yet another follow up appointment with my PS today, hoping this last drain is coming out. Nope. It sure isn't. Well fuck me. It's going to be another week. Dammit. No thanks to the god damn infection. Had that not happened, that drain would be out today and I wouldn't have to dick around with it anymore. Today was not my lucky day.

I also mentioned my hysterectomy, which is incorrect. It is actually an oopherctomyr (removal of the ovaries) that I am scheduled for next month. I was told that is too soon, and go with the rule of 3 months. The next surgery shouldn't be for three months. Damn. But with that, perhaps a dual surgery. Oopherctomyr and touch up all at once. I am going to see if I can make that happen. Yahoo! One more surgery instead of two? Yes, please!

I was also informed today that at weeks 3-4 is likely when I will start to feel really good. Awesome, because tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my surgery, holy shit, already! It seems like it's taken a long time to get to where I'm at and then not, almost like I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already. Wow, time is flying.

So one more week of this drain and all it's inconveniences, but then hopefully that is it. I am looking forward it being gone. If it wasn't so mother fucking hot out, I would love to go for walks, but when I left the house at 845a this morning to go to my doctors appointment and it was already 90 degrees out, fuck taking walks. Not happening. Not right now.

So I will stay in the air conditioning, continue taking it easy and get the rest I need. Let's get healed!!!

Is Something Amiss?

Is something amiss? Not a question anyone wants to ask themselves two weeks after surgery. Not ever. But here I was, asking myself this very thing.

I emptied my only remaining drain on Wednesday and I was surprised at the amount in the bulb. It was more than usual, but I didn't really think too much of it. I went along, business as usual, moving around slowly. Come Thursday morning, and time to empty it again, but this time, it's different. Very different.

We all get it, if you've ever seen one, drains are gross, disgusting and can make you lose you appetite in a quick minute. Thursday morning was all of those things. The liquid in the drain bulb should be clear-ish. This time it wasn't. It was creamy in color, a hue of tan, and more than usual again. So I take some pics.

No, I am not including these nasty pictures in my scrapbook. Fuck that and all it's nastiness. I composed an email and sent it off to my PS (plastic surgeon's) office, asking, "does this look normal?"

Fifteen minutes after I sent off those pictures, I got a call. The doctor's office. Boy, that was quick. Now here I am thinking they are calling because they looked at the pictures I sent and wanted to reassure me everything is fine, and not to worry. Nope. All she said was, we will be calling in an antibiotic for you. Uhm, ok?!? She said it hadn't been sent yet, but when it is, they will call back. 

Next message I get is from my pharmacy saying I have 2 prescriptions ready. What? Two? From who? I was expecting one. Never got a call back from the doctor's office, but everything seems pretty self explanatory. Clearly I have an infection of some type. I have two antibiotics. I waste no time and go get them from the pharmacy, and start taking them immediately.

So here I am, 3 days later, and I can already tell a difference. The color and nature of my drain fluid is different, in a good way. I don't have as much discharge either, which is another positive sign. Yahoo, finally getting back on track.

I have another follow up appointment tomorrow with my PS, and I wonder if this drain is going to come out. I am really hoping so, but given recent events over the last few days, I am not as hopeful as I was. Tomorrow morning will tell.

So until then, I am going to keep doing what I've been doing; taking it easy, relaxing, and getting some sleep.

Not In The Clear, Just Yet

I finally had my post op visit today with my plastic surgeon. There's good news and not great news.

Let's start with the good news. My wound vac is out! Yahoo! The drains I also had in my breasts are gone too. What a fucking relief. Seriously. I could not wait for those god damn things to come out. They are out and I feel so much better. I still have the one that is coming out of my stomach though, and that one should be coming out next week Monday. Yippee!

So driving is easier, and that's also a plus. I had to drive to go get my prescriptions one day last week and it was more than difficult. Today, I had to drive about 20 miles to go see my plastic surgeon, and the drive home was noticeably easier. Thank god, because almost FML.

So the not so great news. The dressing that I had all over my stomach for my incision and the wound vac that was there, well that's gone. Yeah! But water ended up getting into it and caused a rash. Boo! Could it be worse? Most certainly yes. What my doctor suggested is that I go bottomless the next two days, then back to loose clothing (like the mens pajama pants I have been wearing). Ok cool, I can handle that. He also wants me to take a really good shower, water hitting me front on, whereas before, avoiding contact with the front of my body directly. I get it now. There is no more dressing so now that that factor has been removed, I'm all good. And what else did I learn in all of this when my stomach dressing was removed? I do have a belly button! That was a surprise because the day of surgery he said I wouldn't have one.

My stomach muscles are still sore, and to be expected, I think. He did mention that a few things may happen over the next few days; one being that my flaps on my chest may pop open, which he ensured me if they do, it's normal and fine. I have more than enough tissue in my breasts again. And two, my breasts may get really sore over the next couple days. Weird. I didn't ask why; what I did ask though is why my chest, between my tits and above is so itchy. He said he wasn't sure, could be my nerves and was not concerned. Ok, cool, let's see what happens from here on out.

So I am on the mend, more than I have been before. WooHoo! I hope after a good nights sleep tonight again, I will be feeling even better tomorrow.

My Worst Day Yet

Yesterday was my worst day yet since my most recent surgery. Like fuck me, I don't want to do this shit anymore kind of day.

For those that know me, and know me well, anyone could tell you I am not a crier. I rarely cry, ever.  Yesterday was everything that I am not normally. I cried so many times because I was in pain. 

My morning started off with me waking up nauseous. I can't even consider how bad it would hurt to puke. I already feel like my stomach muscles are super tight. I would think if I puked I would feel like my insides were ready to come out.

Then, I sneezed, one time, and it was a hard sneeze. OMG, my stomach muscles took all of the force from that. That was the first thing, and holy shit. Painful.

The next thing are these fucking drain tubes. There is one stitch that hold the tube in place where they come out of my body near my rib cage. They are just sore in general and getting increasingly worse as far as pain goes. To top that off, I was standing near the kitchen sink emptying my drain bulbs, went to walk away and got the one tube caught on the kitchen cabinet handle, stepped away, and far enough where I instantly felt the pull. It hurt so bad I immediately started crying. FML.

It has gotten increasingly harder to shower due to what I feel like is my limited mobility with the drains tubes being so sore. I hadn't taken a pain pill since Monday, but got a refill and took one yesterday afternoon. OMG the relief. I really thought I was over the hump, well on my way in the long road of healing and getting better every day, until yesterday. It is kind of a slap in the face, but now I am back on track, I literally laid around all day yesterday after all those whammies back to back. I think that's what I needed.

First thing Monday morning these drain tubes will be coming out, so only a few more days until these son of a bitches are done. Thank fucking god. So until then, I am going to walk slowly (my arms hanging at my sides when I walk and they sway disturb the tubes, further irritating them), and lay around with my fur babies. It is likely what is best anyways. Not that any other days are fun filled. Ha. I do almost nothing, and that's just what the doctor ordered.

Random Thoughts.....

Do you ever have random thoughts or question you want to ask someone or many others to see what kind of answer you will get? I sure do, all the time. Sometimes I ask and sometimes I don't.

Right now, one of the things I am dealing with is this horrible smell from my wound vac. It is putrid. Probably one of the worst smells ever, because I cannot get away from it.

Something like in this situation makes me want to ask people the following questions....

•     What's the worst smell you ever smelled?
• My answer: This wound vac apparatus; prior to this, I'd say a decomposing body (remember I have worked in the funeral industry, so yes, I know what I am talking about)
•     If you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which would it be and why?
• My answer: Smell. If not related to any other senses (i.e. taste), then yes. You would never smell rotting food, shit (literally), farts, cigarette smoke, whatever more than unpleasant smells that exist that you've smelled and wish you never would have. This being said, you would never be able to smell fresh babies, flowers or cookies baking in the oven. I am fine with giving up my sense of smell, anytime.

I am in many FB groups related to breast cancer, and posed the question 'My wound vac smells like......?' And here are some of my favorite responses:

•    Old garbage
•     A dog who hasn't been bathed in a year
•     If it smells bad, you should call your doctor (Ya, thanks, Einstein. I already did. It's normal) 

Old garbage is a perfect description. This is Fear Factor type shit, seriously. I am eagerly counting down the days, and as of right now it is 5 days (technically 4.5 days) until I get these fucking drain bulbs out and the the wound vac tube out. I already disconnected the device like I was told. Now to get the rest of it out......

Let's Talk Poop

Yes, let's talk poop. All things poop. Everyone does it, and no one wants to talk about it, except me, and right here and now. 💩

I just had my first bowel movement in over a week 💩 I was wondering how it was going to go........how it would feel, because my core stomach muscles are tight. I can't laugh for that reason, and the idea of having to have a bowel movement after this whole last week while I've been taking stool softeners, left me skeptical. I mean who wouldn't be thinking...Oh Shit, here we go!

I've been taking a stool softener every day, every 8 hours for a week now. Actually probably longer. I think I started taking them before my surgery. So that made me feel prepared. I have a bidet in my bathroom, so from that aspect I think I was ready to. 💩

And the moment comes, when I know it's coming, and wha-la, magic happened. Easy. The stool softeners worked. Like they should have. What a relief. Love the bidet. 💩

So I've now test the poop waters, and we are all good! So for those that were wondering, now you know 💩 Easier than I expected!

And another poop today, so twice in one day, and just as easy. For one of the things I hate doing, I am glad it's been so simple! 💩

Just kidding, third time is a charm! I don't think I've ever felt better or pooped as much (except when I had to prep for my colonoscopy). 💩

Still Loopy

So I think I am still loopy. I remembered what I wrote when I updated my blog after surgery, but I think I am still loopy because there are so many thing I wanted to add that I totally forgot about, so here I am again. 

Things I didn't know, until I knew..........laughing, not the thing to do. Not now anyways while my stomach is healing. I was watching a movie last night, laughed, and immediately discovered that is not going to be happening again. A few minutes later, I got my second reminder. It is so hard not to laugh when you want to.

I didn't realize how much caffeine there was in so many things until I got put on caffeine restriction. This is a huge inconvenience, but I am not worried about it. I think the next three months are going to fly by.

What else can I say? I forgot to mention that I no longer have a belly button! Yep, that's right. I asked my doctor the morning of surgery and he said they can "make" a new one, but he would not recommend it. He said there is no use for it, and I agree. I think I will just go without. No more belly button piercings ever again for me. Lol. I am way past that phase of my life.

My boobs are still way swollen and bruised. They look a lot bigger than I think they will end up being. I think the scars will heal very nicely overall. Still cannot see my stomach one, and that'll be a few weeks yet. 

Everything with my drains are working out great. I still don't like them, but they seems way more manageable than they did last time and that's with having 2 more! Wow. The first two should be out in a. week. I cannot wait!

That's all for now. Just enjoying daily showers again and the comfortable sleep I have been getting.

Here I am, current state. At least I can wear regular shorts. I no longer have to wear a bra and today is my first day without. I 💗 it!!!

New Chapter, New Tits

Another chapter closed, and another chapter opened, depending on how you think about it. It's been almost 5 full days since my surgery, and wow! I feel pretty good. Am I doing cartwheels and flip flops? No. I certainly am not. But my pain has completely been under control. That's a win all in itself! I made it to the DIEP side!

Let me go back a few days, it'll be short because I don't remember much. My surgery was just shy of 8 hours long. Apparently everything went great, and I did great overall. Awessome, because I couldn't have hoped for anything more. I do recall waking up and my right arm being in a lot of pain, and that was the only thing I was focused on. I was told it was likely the way I was positioned in surgery, and once the nursing staff were able to help me get it moving around, the pain was a thing if the past, that quickly!

I was up into my room after the recovery at what I recall being around 8p. I called my husband because he wasn’t at the hospital with me, to give him an update and let him know I was fine and apparently as clear as I thought I was thinking and speaking, he said I wasn’t making any sense. So that conversation ended and pretty much I remember the rest of the night was the nurse coming in every hour to check on my incisions.

I had my surgery on Tuesday morning. By mid morning on Wednesday, I was told that I’m able to go home. I was surprised and not at all at the same time. Holy shit. A major surgery that wrapped up less than 24 hours ago and here I’m getting the miss America wave off. Lol. Considering I’m not in any pain at this point, I make arrangements for my ride. 

From Wednesday afternoon until now (currently Sunday afternoon), I’ve just mostly slept. I’ve missed so much time and that’s weird, because this morning I woke up at 7:15 AM and really thought it was 7:15 PM and the sun was just going down. I think it was because I was in bed before 8 PM last night and felt like I pretty much slept all the way through. It’s weird to think that I slept that many hours but weird to think that I don’t know the difference between day and night, especially looking outside. I got up to pee, make it up to eat, take my pain medication and then it’s on repeat.

I was able to shower yesterday, which was fantastic because after four days without a shower I was more than ready. I took another shower again today, but because I’m still spending the majority of my time sleeping it seems like that shower that I just took a few hours ago was actually so much longer ago.

I just plan on laying around resting for the most part. It’s good for me to get up and walk more than 10 minutes a day, six times a day and I don’t know if I’ve actually been doing that because I sleep way more, but, nonetheless I am able to get up and get around easily enough and every day. It definitely seems like it’s not that big of a challenge. Wow, who would’ve ever thought? 

I have my first postop appointment with my plastic surgeon next week, Monday, so eight days from now. If I’m feeling this good now I wonder what another eight days is going to bring. I’m not able to drive yet because I’m still on pain medication but I have no doubt I will be done with them by that time.

So I will continue to rest and sleep as much as I need, because one of days my picture may be of me doing a cartwheel! Lol. That would be amazing! 

One last note; I am all bandaged up with more drains hanging out of me, but with that being said, I can’t really see a lot. My tits are still swollen and look huge 🧐 but that’ll change. I think at the end of this, I am going to look phenomenal!!! And I was finally deported! No more mediport for me!

So let’s talk restrictions. This didn’t even occur to me right away but probably because I’m still a little foggy. I’m not exactly sure. I cannot lift any more than 10 pounds for the next two months. After that two month period is up I can’t lift more than 25 pounds for the next two months following that. No swimming, bathing or submerging in water. And the biggest kicker? no caffeine for the next three months because it will hinder the healing of my veins. Well, this is going to be an interesting trial. But I know I’ll push through. And small small meals for who knows how long. It’s weird that not even a half cup of oatmeal in and I’m full…..

It's That Time!

It's that time. Yes, it is my surgery day. All these months I have waited and now it's here. 

I have talked to many people over this past week. I think the question every single person asked was "Are you ready for your surgery?" Yes, yes I am. I have been ready. I am ready to close this chapter and move on to the next item on my agenda.

I have also done more reading over the last week in a group I'm in that is all about this DIEP flap surgery. All from women who have it scheduled or have gone through it. It really left me even more optimistic than I've been. It is amazing to read these stories, how courageous these women are and what they've also been through, only to have the best attitude and experience come out of it. Wow, just wow! I am hoping I can be so lucky like the woman in the story I read earlier. She literally had her surgery 6 days ago and is already out and about, and said she is moving along great. She even posted a picture and she looks fantastic. I too hope I am that fortunate and feel that good in that short amount of time. 

I am leaving for the hospital in about 20 minutes. I have to be there at the ungodly hour of 530a. Jesus. That's early, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I never slept last night. I am not nervous, anxious or scared. I feel calm and relaxed. I am ready to do this. I figured I am going to be knocked out anyways, so I mine as well enjoy my freedom and move about the way I wanted to tonight. Surgery is in 3.5 short hours. Yippee!

So for now, as they say, see you on the DIEP side!